Sunday, October 7, 2012

Diet Diary


I found another entry in my Diet Diary.

8/4/76
I went to the Kmart and was in the checkout line. The lady before me had put her items on the counter. The clerk picks up one and then she picks up her microphone and her voice is booming all over the store loud and clear, “Price check on, Big Mama Panty Hose, aisle 8”. The customer threw her hand over her face and bowed her head and I heard her uttering this prayer, “Oh my God”. 

Clothing manufacturing companies enjoy thinking up new ways to embarrass the fat folk. Queen size just isn't effective enough. 



Friday, October 5, 2012

The Story of My Life






The story of my life. Lose fat, gain fat, lose fat, gain fat. Today I was looking for something and  ran across this  little tablet. The first entry says Diet Diary  6/26/73. I would have been 45 and fat.
It starts out like this:
6/26/73
Weighed 168 this morning. A lot of fat for 5 foot 4 ½ inches. (2012 The Osteoporosis now has me down to 5 ft 3)
Wore my cow dress to work today. It has a sloppy hem and a cigarette burn. Nothing would look good anyway so it doesn’t matter. Besides it’s the only thing I have that still fits. I hate that dress. When I reach my goal I’m going to burn it and scatter the ashes over the Cascade mountains. I weighed 175 in February so I have already lost 7 pounds. I saw a lady the other day that said she hardly knew me because I had gained so much weight.  I cannot stand her. PERIOD.
6/27/73
Still weighed the same, I visited a TOP meeting tonight. The meeting didn’t impress me. A lot of really fat ladies. Not one of them looked as though they were anywhere near their goal. I will join at the next meeting, maybe it will help. I’m drinking a diet grape pop. You need a pretty good imagination to believe that stuff is good. Lack of exercise makes Fanny’s fanny get fatter. Makes mine fatter too. I’m not counting calories, I just count the bites.
6/29/73
Karen made a wacky cake tonight and everybody is sitting right in front of my eyes eating the cake. I will not be tempted. I will not, I will not, I will not. Next year I won’t even remember that cake. I wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but it will still be setting there on the counter. Tomorrow is Saturday and the weekends are terrible. At work I am busy and forget food. Why can’t I lose more? Would anyone notice if a cow lost 4 lbs. One thing for sure if I ever got lost in the wilderness, I would be able to live on my fat for a while.
7/6/73
Today was a real hassle at work. Short of help and everybody in the county applied for credit. Now I gained a lb. Must have been that extra teaspoon of mashed potatoes I ate.
I was buying shoes in a shoe store and the clerk said their panty hose were on sale and then added that they carry Queen size. It was a man clerk, a woman would never say such a thing. Well, for his information I am still squeezing into the regular size. They may not be comfortable, but they are not Queen size. (Now I jump forward to 2012, they no longer use that “queen size” label on anything. They use X’s and the more X’es the bigger.  They are called Women’s size. Some are labeled 16W, 18W etc. I asked my friend, Alice, what the W stands for and she said, “wide”.  Makes sense to me. )

This is the story of my life.  The diary goes on and on, but it is just more of the same. Gain fat, lose fat, gain fat, lose fat.