Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Computer Age

How the world has changed since the age of the computer. The entire world knows everything in a matter of seconds. One suspected murderer becomes the proverbial mountain in a matter of hours.  Back BC (before computers)  law enforcement  and the courts took care of murder issues. Now the world decides who is guilty and it may be getting close to a Civil war.  I am also guilty. I posted my opinion online. 
Is it a good thing, or is it a bad thing? Will this public uproar change anything? I think it may do just that. 
BC we missed out on a lot of things. How many knew how to keep your bicycle seat from being stolen?
I happened to stumble on this solution, so I thought I would pass it on. I don’t know who thought of it. 
I was sick of having my bike seat stolen- solution: 1 old inner tube 1 old bike chain you can insert the chain into a sleeve made of tube then loop through both the saddle's supports and the bike frame and then reconnect the 2 ends of the chain. This will prevent your seat from being taken (hopefully) and the tube will protect the metal chain from scraping the bike's paint. Works wonders! Cost: nada.

 I also found this exciting news:
Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a 
piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
And this:
The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player
for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola. Didn’t you always want to know that? 
Or this:
An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman
to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!
   (It should be okay if she isn’t drunk)
How about this:
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

With that I am going to say, “goodnight, sleep tight.” First I need to go pull on the ropes. 

Thursday, March 29, 2012


      Did you think there was a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?
                               No, it's an outhouse. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

What's So Bad About Being A Dog?

What's so bad about a dog's life.

Life just gets more exciting every day. Yesterday I read the paper, worked the crossword puzzle and took a nap. Today I actually worked the crossword first, read the paper, skipped the nap and ordered something online from Walmart. I don’t know if my heart can take much more of this excitement. 
This afternoon I took a trip down memory lane, and that was somewhat tiring so I took a nap. 
 I am trying to read a book that I can’t really get into so I got online to see if I could find something more to my liking. I got sidetracked with this and when I get through I will go find the book I want. 
This morning there was a slight bit of snow covering everything. It has already disappeared. Mother Nature can’t seem to figure out that it’s Spring. 

Till Next Time.  

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


So how was your day?

 A few blogs back,  I told you about my Cable bill being $38 less than normal. Well, that was a short lived fantasy. Today I get one and it's $38 more than it normally is. So I called and talked to someone, I don't know if she was from Guam or New Zealand, but she sure wasn't from around here. I had a hard time understanding her and she had an even harder time understanding me. This is the gist of the conversation. It seems that I only paid part of my bill last month. So they tacked that part I didn't pay to this one. I told her I already had that part figured out, but why did you tell me last month that the bill was $38 less than normal? I got frustrated trying to make sense of what she was saying. 

Well okay, no need to argue with her. She is just doing her job.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

TV Hogs and Other Problems

What is wrong with my kitchen TV?  The remote seems to be working because if I press a button on it, it says 6 and if I press another button it says 66, and another button it says 666. It will not mute or change volume or channels. I have to use the buttons on the TV to even turn it off and on.  So I put my brilliant mind in gear and decided the batteries must be dead or almost dead.  So I put in new batteries. Still nothing works right. It’s still doing the very same thing.  Then I told myself, there has to be something wrong with the stupid remote. So I stared at it, while thinking I may have to go buy a new remote. While staring at it, I discovered the number six key was caught by one edge and wouldn’t allow anything else to work. Easy fix, but why did it take so long to figure it out. Have I always been this way or am I just developing a case of feeble-mindedness? It was doing the same thing last night and I decided to put the problem on hold until I felt like dealing with it.

I remember when we got our first TV, I think we only had 3 channels, and remote meant far away or distant, the devise had not been invented yet, at least for a TV.  But we had 3 kids, so tell one of the kids to go change the channel. Well, the Remotes grew up and left home so we had to argue who should get up and change the channel. That didn’t last long, I discovered you could buy one and if your TV was fairly new it would work on it.
 So the husband got a new remote for Christmas that year. Because it was a gift, he felt he was in charge of it. From that day forward we watched Football, Basketball, Baseball, Roller Derby, Wrestling, United Kingdom with Marlin Perkins, and did I mention Football.  Can you believe I haven’t watched a game of Football since he died and went to heaven. My TV doesn’t even recognize that channel anymore. 

Monday, March 5, 2012

The World is a Strange Place

The world isn’t exactly what I was expecting. How did it get like this? Too many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t even like in the first place. 
People run businesses trying to collect money from people that don’t have any. 
A bank hires people to call strangers to tell them their credit card is not in trouble at this time, but they can give them a much better interest rate. 
A total stranger calls strangers on the phone to tell them five reasons why they are voting for Newt Gingrich. 
I’ve only been married once, but I always say I’ve been divorced five times so they won’t think I’m different. 
Our mailman leaves six pieces of junk mail in our mailbox and we put it in our trash so it can be recycled. 
I made a special trip to my cable company to lodge a complaint about my bill being increased until I can no longer afford it. Of course that was a waste of time, so I asked what happened to the lightening speed they are always talking about. “Oh, you must need a new modem, I will have a service man put a new one in for you”.  So it was proven that I had the speed of molasses, and he replaced it and now I have lightening speed.  When I received my bill they had reduced it by $38.00.  She had told me the bill was fine. I am holding my breath on that one. If I call to find out why, I am afraid they will say there has been a mistake and jump it back up sky high. If I don’t say anything maybe they won’t notice. Is that being sort of dishonest?  My conscience hasn’t kicked in yet. I'm sure the next month will bring it back up there. 

Friday, March 2, 2012

What Made Me Me

The following is a good way to determine how old you are. Anybody that can remember some of these may be approaching the top of the hill. 

  Author unknown 

What Made Me Me 

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot, before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot. 

There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me, long ago and far away In the Land That Made Me Me. 

Oh, there was truth and goodness in that land where we were born, where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn. 

For Ike was in the White House, and Hoss was on TV, and God was in His heaven In the Land That Made Me Me. 

We learned to get a muffler, We washed our hair with dawn, we spread our crinolines to dry In circles on the lawn. 

And they could hear us coming all the way to Tennessee, all starched and sprayed and rumbling in the Land That Made Me Me. 

We longed for love and romance, and waited for the prince, and Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since. 

We danced to "Little Darlin'", and Sang to "Stagger Lee" and cried for Buddy Holly In the Land That Made Me Me. 

Only girls wore earrings then, and three was one too many, and only boys wore flat-top cuts, except  for Jean McKinney. 

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see A boy named George, with Lipstick In the Land That Made Me Me. 

We fell  for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice, and when they made a movie, They never made it twice. 

We didn't have a Star Trek Five, Or Psycho Two and Three, Or Rockey-Rambo Twenty In the Land That Made Me Me. 

Miss  Kitty had a heart of gold, And Chester had a limp, and Reagan  was a Republican, Whose co-star was a chimp. 

We had a Mr Wizard, but not a Mr T, and Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me Me. 

We had our share of heroes, We never thought they'd go, At least not Bobby Darin, Or Marilyn Monroe. 

For youth was still eternal, And life was yet to be, and Elvis was forever, In the Land That Made Me Me. 

We'd  never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, and Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins weren't Led. 

And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees in a tree, Madonna was a virgin In the Land That Made Me Me. 

We’d never heard of Microwaves or telephones in cars, and babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars. 

And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and  "gay" meant  fancy-free, and dorms were never coed In the  Land That Made Me Me . 

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag, and microchips were what was left at The bottom of the bag. 

And Hardware was a box of nails, And bytes came from a  flea, and rocket ships were fiction In the Land That Made Me Me. 

Buicks came with portholes, and side show came with freaks, and bathing suits came big enough To cover both your cheeks. 

And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts came to the  knee, And Castro came to power In the Land That  Made Me Me. 

We had no Crest with Fluoride, We had no Hill Street Blues, We all wore superstructure bras Designed by Howard  Hughes. 

We had no patterned pantyhose Or Lipton herbal tea Or prime-time ads for condoms In the Land That Made Me Me. 

There were no golden arches, No Perriers to chill, & gt;And fish were not called Wanda, And cats were not called Bill. 

And  middle-aged was thirty-five And old was forty-three, And ancient was our parents In the Land That Made Me Me. 

But all things have a season, Or so we've heard them say, And now instead of Maybelline We swear by  Retin-A. 

And they send us invitations To join AARP, We've come a  long way, baby, From the Land That Made Me Me. 

So now we face a brave new world In slightly larger jeans, And wonder why they're using Smaller print in magazines. 

And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be, Long ago, and far away In the Land That Made Me Me.

 --Author unknown