Saturday, December 29, 2007

Smelly Rat




I get the strangest mail. People are always sending me the news that I won a lottery and I just ignore them. This time I got a pathetic letter from some poor old widow lady that is on the verge of dying. She wants me to take her dead husband's huge bank account and put it in my bank and then send her a few dollars out of it or some such drivel.
I replied to her. I SMELL A RAT.
Then she writes back the following.

HI LORRENE,
THERE IS NO SMELLING RAT TO PASSIVE.IT IS ALL ABOUT DOING GOD'S WORK.TO YOU,IT IS OPTIONAL BECOUSE IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT JUST GO AHEAD AND HELP ME AND IF YOU CAN'T,YOU FORGET IT.
BUT REMEMBER,THERE IS ALWAYS A REWARD FOR DOING GOD'S WORK.I AM A DIEING WOMAN,SEEKING FOR WHOM TO ENTRUST MY HUSBAND'S FUNDS TO.YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOOSE,ALL I NEED IS SOMEONE THAT I CAN TRUST.
JUST GIVE YOURSELF A SECOND THOUGHT OF WHAT I HAVE TOLD YOU.
GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS SINCERELY
MRS NKURUMA CINDI

Sunday, November 4, 2007

News Reports Bias Against Fat



This is one of my many pet peeves. When the news programs on TV or even the newspaper does a story on obesity they always go out with their camera's and shoot peoples midsections or rear section, depending on which area is the fattest. They never take a head shot. Probably because they would get their pants sued off if the person could identify himself. So they go strolling down the street until they find a big butt then focus on that area and click away. Of course they wait until they can find two or three together because that gets the point of their story across even more. I have considered a way from this ever happening to me. So I can be identified and able to sue them; I am going to make a sign with my full name on it and glue it on my rear section so I can walk down a street with complete ease and confidence knowing my rear end will not make the evening news.

Yeah, I know. You're thinking the sign should say "Wide Load"

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Freezer de-icing and Mopped Floor


Just have to show you my amazing accomplishment. This is a picture of my teeny weeny freezer. It is about waist high to a dwarf and has two shelves. You have to get down on the floor and lie on your stomach to see what you have in it. Defrosting it is the worse nightmare in the world, but it has to be done at least every two years because it gets so much ice in it and you have no room for two year old vegetables and other essentials. It also had ice caps trying to come out the door. Well, today was that day. The bottom tray that catches the dripping ice is about an inch high and runs over unless you are there every ten minutes or so to empty it. It is not possible to empty a shallow tray full of water without spilling half of it. At least it's not possible for me. Ice drips slowly, are you aware of that. I spent almost the entire day emptying the tray and mopping the floor. Emptying the tray and mopping the floor. Tonight I have a frost free freezer and a clean utility floor.
I knew you would be thrilled about it. I don't want to put the food back in it. I kind of like the empty look.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Old Age and Amnesia


Old age does strange things to your memory. I forgot to put on a coat today when I went to get my flu shot. I went to the Senior Center for the shot and the room was full of us oldies. We were sitting at tables waiting our turns and I overheard one old lady say to her friend "Now how did you happen to remember that, normally you can't remember anything". For some reason it cracked me up so I shared how I forgot to wear my coat and that sort of broke the ice. Everybody started telling the latest stupid thing they didn't remember. We were having a blast. Then they called number 41 and I had to go get my shot.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Vacation Time


Working people look forward to Friday. I remember when I thought it was the happest day in the week, but now I dread it because I know the weekend is here again. I hate the weekend. During the week I have the whole town to myself. Well, most of it. There may be a few people out and about, but I can go shopping and have the whole aisle to myself. I don't know why, but I swear Saturday and Sunday have more hours in them than any other day. Today is Saturday and we are into the 28th hour and it's only 5 PM. Tomorrow will be the same way.
I guess I need a vacation.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Retirement Fun


Life in the slow lane. When you get old you are in everybody's way. When you drive down the street everybody is whizzing around you. You look at your speedometer and you're going exactly the speed limit. Most people think you can get away with five miles over the limit so they must do that. I 'm not in a hurry. I don't have a job to go to or a family to go home to so why hurry? Somebody once told me that Thursday is Shuffler's day at the grocery store. I don't pay any attention to that, I just go very early in the morning so I can get home before the speed demons are out and about.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Blogging Frustrations

Cora, you asked when I was going to spill the beans about my blog. Well, it is like this, I wanted to learn how to do it before anybody saw it. I know how to put a picture on it and how to write my dumb stuff, but I can't figure out how to get my ducks in a row yet. So to speak, that is. One of my titles is "Counter". Now, how dumb is that?
In answer to your query, I like the Northwest much better than the red hills of Oklahoma.

Blogging

Blogging is suppose to be so easy that even your Grandmother can do it. Well, I am a Grandmother and it is driving me nuts. I went through the tour and read how you can drag and drop. OH, so simple. I decided to put a counter on my site. I found one and all it said about it was to copy the code and put it on your web site. I wanted it to go at the bottom of the page like everybody else has it. It went near the top of the site. If it's so easy to drag and drop why can't I drag it to the bottom of the page? That is what I asked myself a thousand times. I have even deleted it and put it back on and it never goes to the bottom. If any body with some knowledge about such things would tell me how to do it I would be forever grateful. Oh well, maybe not forever, but I would be grateful.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Mount Rainier in all it's Glory


This is one of the beautiful mountains in this great Northwest. Read more about it at this website.

Red Oklahoma Road


This picture belongs to John Mccornack.

I borrowed it because it looks exactly the same as the roads that ran past our Oklahoma country home.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Pet Peeve of the Pay Day Loan


Some things just bug me. Why are Pay Day Loan places allowed to stay in business? They are legal robbers. Nothing but. You can borrow $100. and a few days later you are required to pay back $175. They prey on the needy and desperate. They should be shut down. Damn the scum that scam the dumb.

Pet Peeve of the Phone Menu


Phone Menu's are the most irritating of all. You have a simple question about your account that can't be answered by a machine. It takes a living breathing person to answer your question, but it takes a half hour of frustrating pressing buttons and trying to speak to a person. The menu voice will give "to speak to an operator" as an option, but when you press that button you get another menu choice.