Drowsy Day

 

About the only challenge in my life these days is the daily crossword puzzle. It goes rather smoothly most days. My walls have nothing to say so I don’t have much to write about. The sun came up and a cloud or two passed over.

When I retired about the first thing I did was buy a computer. I was about the only person I knew that had one at that time. All I knew how to do was plug it in. Kenny (son) had one and knew a few things about them so he came over and got the thing running. I lived and breathed computer for the next ten years. I learned about email and chatting with other people. At that time there were all kinds of chat rooms where you could meet people. I met lots of people my age, both men and women.

We kept in touch and it was fun. Now all my, long ago friends, just up and died one by one or I lost contact somehow. People would send you every joke that was ever heard of until you got so sick and tired of them, you finally just quit reading them. I also printed out and saved some of the stuff. I have been weeding out my saved junk and ran across some of the old goofy things I had saved. I think the most favorite thing to do was to make fun of rednecks. We’ve come along way, but lest we forget let me remind you of a few.

Martha Stewart Tips for Rednecks

Never take a beer to a job interview.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
If you have to vacuum the bed, it’s time to change the sheets.
Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive the U-Haul to the cemetery.

 You know you’re a redneck when……..

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to school for show and tell.
You think a Hot Tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You go to the stock races and don’t need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
Your working TV sets on top of your non-working one.
You thought the unibomber was a wrestler.
You’ve used the ironing board as a buffet table.
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You thing fast food is hitting a deer at 65 miles an hour.