Saturday, June 27, 2009

Life is Too Complicated

A salesman came to my door today. He thinks I need an alarm system. The product and installation is totally free. He went through a 20 minute spiel about how wonderful the product is and why I would benefit from it. It also comes with the alarm that you wear around your neck, in case you fall and can’t get up. I told him that I keep my cell phone in my pocket and it would be just as easy to dial 911. He asked, "Don’t you think your safety is worth it? " I said, "I don’t know, how much does the stupid thing cost a month?"
He said, "It’s less than a dollar a day." I turned down his wonderful offer, but I enjoyed chatting with the nice young man.

All I need is one more thing around here to program. You have to program the coffeepot so the coffee is ready when you get up. I gave up on that one because I don’t get up the same time every day and the manufacturer has the coffeepot programmed to automatically go off in two hours. Why do they get to decide when to turn my coffeepot off? I wish they had kept their sticky little fingers off of it. I know how to turn the coffeepot off all by myself.

While we’re in the kitchen let me tell you about my toaster. I bought the cheapest one I could find because I don’t care about cooking bagels and those light, dark and medium settings and all that other technical stuff some of them come with. That is the slowest toaster this side of the Rockies. It takes three minutes to toast a slice of toast and there is no pop up button so you can rush it along. You just have to stand there and twiddle your thumbs until it decides it is good and ready.
I paid $6.99 at Wal-Mart for that toaster. I had to learn to put the toast down before I start anything else. Why pay $25.00 for a toaster when you can buy one at Wal-Mart for $6.99. I like that toaster.

All the clocks have to be programmed twice a year. The DVR on the TV has to be programmed. You have to program all those numbers into your telephone. You just about need some kind of engineering degree to live in your house. Do you ever get pills that you need a crowbar and a jackhammer to get the lid off of the bottle? The last time I went to the doctor and he was writing a prescription for something I told him to be sure and tell the pharmacy that I need easy to open lids because I don’t want to hire a mechanic to open my pill bottles. He looked at me funny, but I guess he really did it because I got a really easy to open bottle.


Jimh. said...

I agree with you Grandma! Cora and I have our alotted areas that we are responsible for. Hers is clocks. I can generally figure them out, but she seems to be a wizard at clocks. She was so quick at figuring out the different clocks when we first got together, I just assume she will take care of it.

I mow the lawn, and make dinner, and wash clothes, and do the dishes, and I do a ton of other things just so she will do the clocks. It seems like a fair trade.

She also is in charge of the answering machine message. s far as I am concerned, I married a genius!

Grandma L said...

Cora sounds like somebody that I once worked with. She automatically knew how to do everything and she could do it 20 times faster than anyone else.

Cora said...

Yeah, I don't mind doing the clocks but I also do other things. It is funny how a man's mind works. Maybe I will stop making him any food or paying all his bills and he might remember that I do more than clocks.

I like your thinking on the toaster. We have a coffee pot like that not even a clock and we have to get out of bed to make it but I think we will survive. I think it cost us $12 and has lasted 3 times as long as the last $29.99 model we have.

E said...

I bought one of those cheap Walmart toasters too. Ours seems to have one setting... BURN. It does not have a pop up button either so you have to look in and when it is ready unplug it to pop it up. lol.. But at least it doesn't shock us like the old one my mom had did.

Stephanie Frieze said...

I agree with you on the complicated technology we have to deal with! I can barely watch a movie on video tape or CD anymore because you have to "switch the splitter" on account of the DVR/expanded cable box. About the time I learn to run my cell phone it gets outdated and Dave gets upgrades and I start all over.

I wouldn't mind paying $25 for a toaster (which I did not too long ago) if it was going to run more than a couple of years. What happened to quality? When I was little if the toaster quit on you you took it to the repair shope and got it fixed.

I have an alarm system. It has four legs and answers to the name Loki. He's a Rat Terrier and plenty yippy to keep everyone away. He's little enough that he only costs pennies a day to feed. :-)