Friday, March 28, 2014

True Story




 Years ago when I first became elderly, and I’ve been elderly most of my life, I had a neighbor, and we were very close friends. We spent hours discussing our fattened condition that sometimes follows into elderly agehood.  We decided we could do something about it, and could start by taking up daily walks. We decided since we get up so early we would start at 4:30 AM. We had a perfect place to walk. It was the parking lot of the Seventh Day Adventist church nearby. It was just behind the local nursing home, and up a small embankment to get into their parking lot. It was still pitch dark, but we felt safe until the morning a car turned into the driveway and came speeding past us to the dumpster. We didn't think we could be seen because of the darkness, but we both felt sudden fear, and just knew it was the ax murderer. The conversation went like this.
Alice:  Look at that cheap skate, putting his garbage in the church dumpster.
Me:  Or is it a body?
She:  Oh Jesus Christ!!! Let’s get the hell outta here!
And so we did, as fast as our chubby little legs would carry us.
After that we went shopping to get our exercise.