Live Life to the Fullest, eat.

Another day, another overcast foggy, dark, dreary day. It's only December so just deal with it. I'm eating candy kisses and drinking diet Pepsi. It helps a little. Now when I get on the scales next week and hear them howl I will apologize. It always calms things down even if you don't mean it. I should have been a marriage counselor. 
Oh, I just noticed it's lunchtime and I'm not the slightest bit hungry. 
I will be searching YouTube for something else to crochet. I need to search for some more yarn. I have lots of yarn but not enough in one color to do anything with. 
Yea, that's what I will do. Amazon, here I come.
Ya'all have a nice day and don't eat too much. 

Diet or Depression

I have been very depressed today. Been trying to think of something pleasant that might snap me out of it. Nothing was helping until I sat down to eat my hamburger patty and a salad. Suddenly the light bulb that hovers above my head lit up. It said, it's the diet, you haven't had a single cookie or a pint of ice cream all day so no wonder you're depressed. I had put myself on a diet this morning. That brings me to another question, why do I eat those cookies and ice cream in the first place? To keep me from being depressed?
Now I have to decide if I want the fat body or the depression. It's one or the other. It seems you can't have one without the other. For starters I need to get the right kind of food in the house.
At least I don't have fire in my back yard or flood waters near by.

I'm On the Waiting List

I'm on the waiting list. I sit in more waiting rooms waiting for the sound of my name. I have nothing to do but wait. So wait it is. Waiting for the bank to clear up the fraud on my account. Waiting for the tomato to get ripe so I can pick it. Waiting to turn one year older. Speaking of that here are a couple of reminders of how old I am and how losing weight is also on the waiting list. 
I'm waiting for visitors from Tacoma so I'm killing time and waiting and waiting for my memory to kick in.

And Wishing

Diet Diary

I found another entry in my Diet Diary.

8/4/76
I went to the Kmart and was in the checkout line. The lady before me had put her items on the counter. The clerk picks up one and then she picks up her microphone and her voice is booming all over the store loud and clear, “Price check on, Big Mama Panty Hose, aisle 8”. The customer threw her hand over her face and bowed her head and I heard her uttering this prayer, “Oh my God”. 

Clothing manufacturing companies enjoy thinking up new ways to embarrass the fat folk. Queen size just isn't effective enough. 

The Story of My Life

The story of my life. Lose fat, gain fat, lose fat, gain fat. Today I was looking for something and  ran across this  little tablet. The first entry says Diet Diary  6/26/73. I would have been 45 and fat.
It starts out like this:
6/26/73
Weighed 168 this morning. A lot of fat for 5 foot 4 ½ inches. (2012 The Osteoporosis now has me down to 5 ft 3)
Wore my cow dress to work today. It has a sloppy hem and a cigarette burn. Nothing would look good anyway so it doesn’t matter. Besides it’s the only thing I have that still fits. I hate that dress. When I reach my goal I’m going to burn it and scatter the ashes over the Cascade mountains. I weighed 175 in February so I have already lost 7 pounds. I saw a lady the other day that said she hardly knew me because I had gained so much weight.  I cannot stand her. PERIOD.
6/27/73
Still weighed the same, I visited a TOP meeting tonight. The meeting didn’t impress me. A lot of really fat ladies. Not one of them looked as though they were anywhere near their goal. I will join at the next meeting, maybe it will help. I’m drinking a diet grape pop. You need a pretty good imagination to believe that stuff is good. Lack of exercise makes Fanny’s fanny get fatter. Makes mine fatter too. I’m not counting calories, I just count the bites.
6/29/73
Karen made a wacky cake tonight and everybody is sitting right in front of my eyes eating the cake. I will not be tempted. I will not, I will not, I will not. Next year I won’t even remember that cake. I wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but it will still be setting there on the counter. Tomorrow is Saturday and the weekends are terrible. At work I am busy and forget food. Why can’t I lose more? Would anyone notice if a cow lost 4 lbs. One thing for sure if I ever got lost in the wilderness, I would be able to live on my fat for a while.
7/6/73
Today was a real hassle at work. Short of help and everybody in the county applied for credit. Now I gained a lb. Must have been that extra teaspoon of mashed potatoes I ate.
I was buying shoes in a shoe store and the clerk said their panty hose were on sale and then added that they carry Queen size. It was a man clerk, a woman would never say such a thing. Well, for his information I am still squeezing into the regular size. They may not be comfortable, but they are not Queen size. (Now I jump forward to 2012, they no longer use that “queen size” label on anything. They use X’s and the more X’es the bigger.  They are called Women’s size. Some are labeled 16W, 18W etc. I asked my friend, Alice, what the W stands for and she said, “wide”.  Makes sense to me. )

This is the story of my life.  The diary goes on and on, but it is just more of the same. Gain fat, lose fat, gain fat, lose fat.

Another Day

It’s just another day in the life of a hermit. I wasn’t a hermit today, I had to get my six month shot. Next week I get my shot in the eyeball. I also get my every other week shot.  I feel like a pincushion. I like to gripe a lot, but if it weren’t for these shots I would be in sad shape. I would be too tired to move out of my tracks, and probably have a broken bone by now and unable to see. Blind, weary and in a cast. I think I like the shots better. Getting old isn’t much fun. The alternative is even less exciting. 
Today the Shot/Bone doctor was amazed at my 41-pound weight loss. I was too because when they weighed me six months ago, I didn’t look at the read out because I didn’t want to know. I weighed more than I thought I did. All the doctors are shocked at the weight loss and act like they think I’m the only person that ever lost any weight. I tell them I’ve been dieting. They don’t settle for that, they want to know what I eat. 
We had a sad event happen this week. We lost one of our family dog's, Sadie. She lived for 14 years so she had a long happy life.
She belonged to my granddaughter and her son's. The great grandson's dog. 
Here are a couple pictures taken a few years ago. 

This is me and Sadie is on my lap. She loved me and I loved her. She thought she was my baby. 

We are smiling for the camera.

The Good, Bad and Ugly

After you’ve been fat for a long time, and start losing weight, there is no greater feeling than baggy pants. It just does something for you! It makes your day!  The shirts start hanging off your shoulder and you look in the mirror and say, “Wow! I like this look.” It’s the reward for the accomplishment. 
Oh well, on to more serious matters.  Today our newspaper reported that Yakima, our little city, is the fifth out of our nation for car thefts. I have no problem believing that one. I’ve had two family members that have had their cars stolen, and another with a motorcycle stolen . It happened a few years ago, but my son had his car (Honda, thieves favorite) stolen out of his driveway in the early hours of the morning. It was driven out on the highway and rolled and totally totaled. It also cost him towing charges. One of the men involved was hospitalized, but of course there was no restitution for the owner.  
My granddaughter’s husband had his car stolen once several years ago. It was found later without too much damage. My great-grandson had his motorcycle stolen. It was found and some damage had been done to the wiring, but luckily they were not smart enough to get it started.
Oh well, on to more funnier matters. 

Dieter's Psalm

I found this Dieter’s Psalm, and I revamped it a little to fit my assessment of the situation.  

DIETER'S PSALM

Strict is my diet. I must not want.

It maketh me to lie down at night hungry.

It leadeth me past the candy aisle. 

It trieth my willpower.

It leadeth me in the path of starvation

for my fattened hippy state. 

Yea, though I walk through the aisles

of the pastry department, I will

buy no sweetrolls for they will

fatten thee.

The cakes and the pies, they tempt me.

Carb’s begat carb’s, ye must do without.

Tis the unpardonable sin, thou shalt not let in.

Before me is a table set with green beans 

and lettuce, and spinach for dessert. 

Filleth thy stomach with liquids,

The day's quota runneth oer.

 surely calorie and weight charts will

follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the fear of scales forever.

                         AMEN

This Crazy World

Now when we shop for groceries, everything has a label about how many calories, carbs, four different types of fat, protein, fiber, sugars, and sodium. It also tells how many servings in a container. A serving is one half cup.  PALEEEEES !  How many people eat just one half cup of anything?  Now, you need to multiply and divide and calculate.  My Parakeet, if I had one, eats more than that at a sitting.  It’s not enough to dirty up your mouth over.  How about buying one of those packaged up foods. The picture looks delicious and it has servings for four. I open it up and since I’m on this strict diet, I will get to eat the whole box. Honestly!
  
If that isn’t enough to raise your blood levels, watch an hour of Dr Phil.  He had a lady on his program that sadly, truly needs to be reprogrammed. She doesn’t believe there is a problem. She has had so many bust transplants, implants or stretches, she now wears a size K bra. She wants to be an L. A doctor on the program said they go all the way to a Z.  Can you imagine how it would feel to have two mammoth round watermelons stuck to the front of your bosom? How does she sleep? If she accidentally rolled over on her stomach, she would probably bounce out of bed.  She could use them as a shelf to set her coffee on. Men, with small brains and too much money, pay her, just because. So she is being paid. Somebody has to pay for all that surgery and her custom made clothes.  Oh well, whatever turns your burner on. 

Story Of My Life

Story of My Life

I walk the treadmill a mile a day

hoping the fat will go away,

but all I ever lose is weight from my feet

Never an ounce comes off my seat !!

Winter has arrived, you don’t need to look at a calendar to confirm it. There is plenty of snow, icicles and slick streets.  It sure takes away the desire to go some place. 
Every time I go to get my Vitamin B12 shot, which is every two weeks, they drag me to the scale the first thing. They are waiting for me at the door so they can weigh me. It has to be done immediately.  I just grit my teeth and take it. They have this big new scale and it must have cost a mint and they want to get their moneys worth. 
I decided I would give them a little surprise so I put myself on a diet. I didn't weigh at home, but I knew I had lost about 5 or 6 lbs. I always lose weight the first couple weeks of a diet. I couldn't wait for the big Weigh-In. I breezed through that door like a butterfly that morning. There she was waiting for me and we know where the scale is, I step on that scale and watched the digital read out and I could not believe my eyes, I had gained 4 pounds. I am not kidding and I am not making it up. I am even crying about it. Four pounds! I must be retaining water. I know I’m not retaining donuts, because I haven’t been eating any.  
Maybe I am getting too much salt because I think that can cause water retention so I asked my sister to give me the name of that salt substitute she uses. It is called NoSalt. So I went to a store to buy some and it was $7.49 for 11 ozs. It must have gold nuggets mixed into it. I bought it and the next time I went to Wal-Mart I priced it there and it was for $5.00 and something. That is just ridiculous that it should be so expensive. 

I am on this low salt diet and if that doesn’t work I guess nothing will. The low salt did help one thing. My blood pressure is always higher than it should be even though I take blood pressure medicine.  The other day it was normal for the first time in a long time. So I think I will continue the low salt trick. I don’t know if I have lost any weight or not. I’ll find out Tuesday, if I can get through the snow and ice. I better be there because it’s important that they weigh me. 

Oreo Cookies

Woman can’t live by Oreo’s alone, but I am trying to prove that theory is just wrong.
This woman went to the doctor’s office today to get a shot of Vitamin B12. After that visit I turned West to visit the Wal-Mart to pick up some heavy double duty Vitamin D. (prescription type). It seems that when the body wears out it takes a lot of artificial help to keep it chugging along. On top of that I have this bummed out knee and all the limp parking places were taken so I had to walk five miles (seemed like) to get inside. I picked up some groceries while there and as I was about to check out, I noticed a big gigantic stack of Family Size Oreo’s right in the front of the store. You couldn’t miss them if you were half blind. I also noticed them when I came into the store. It’s about an hour past lunchtime and my brain went into idle mode and my gut took over. My knee is killing me by now, but I must have some Oreo’s and I am not going to hobble down to that cookie aisle to find a smaller package. I purchased the Family Size box and the cookies and me came home. Since I am on a diet I decided to skip lunch and just eat a couple Oreo’s. I deserve a treat after that ordeal.  A couple cookies turned into a half tube. But I didn’t eat any lunch. So tonight I made a very diet type dinner and for dessert I thought I would eat just a couple Oreo’s. Well the other half tube is almost gone. They just vanished into thin air. It’s the Wal-Mart’s fault. I feel like suing them for parking those cookies right in plain sight that way.