Monday, March 31, 2014

Reasons for Dropping out of Church


One couple attended morning church very faithfully. She was wheel chair bound, and her husband would push the chair. One morning as they were going down the sloped aisle to their pew, the husband became distracted, and took his hands off the chair momentarily; it took off down the aisle like a speed boat. He realized the mistake and did the 20 yard dash in 3 seconds flat, and saved his wife from crashing into the altar.

They never again returned to church. I watched for his obituary after that, but I guess she didn’t kill him.

One time a woman was strolling down the aisle with the tail of her dress caught up in her underwear. Finally a lady leaped from her seat and did the 10 foot distance in one enormous giant flying step, and pulled her dress down for her. The lady with the dress problem never came to church after that.

One time a Good Samaritan volunteered weeks of her time organizing the church library.

Taking each book down, and making sure all books were in the correct order. The next week it was announced that the church would no longer have a library as that area would be included in the children’s nursery. The lady never again set foot in the church.

One time sitting in the pew in front of me was a lady and her teenage son. After the sermon droned on for quite some time the boy leaned over to his mother and in a whisper much louder than he realized asked, “When is that airbag going to finish?” I’m not sure if the teen was ever able to return to church or not.

One time I fell asleep during the sermon, and woke up suddenly when I heard music. Everyone was standing; I jumped to my feet, grabbed my bible, opened it and began singing. I don’t think anyone noticed it was the bible, and not the songbook.  I didn't either at first.

I have been debating whether to name this “Reasons for dropping out of church”

or “Things I miss about church”.

Friday, March 28, 2014

True Story

 Years ago when I first became elderly, and I’ve been elderly most of my life, I had a neighbor, and we were very close friends. We spent hours discussing our fattened condition that sometimes follows into elderly agehood.  We decided we could do something about it, and could start by taking up daily walks. We decided since we get up so early we would start at 4:30 AM. We had a perfect place to walk. It was the parking lot of the Seventh Day Adventist church nearby. It was just behind the local nursing home, and up a small embankment to get into their parking lot. It was still pitch dark, but we felt safe until the morning a car turned into the driveway and came speeding past us to the dumpster. We didn't think we could be seen because of the darkness, but we both felt sudden fear, and just knew it was the ax murderer. The conversation went like this.
Alice:  Look at that cheap skate, putting his garbage in the church dumpster.
Me:  Or is it a body?
She:  Oh Jesus Christ!!! Let’s get the hell outta here!
And so we did, as fast as our chubby little legs would carry us.
After that we went shopping to get our exercise.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Blogger's Choice

A few pictures of the grand kids and family pets.

Statue of Liberty ?

Statue sitting down do the job
Bath Time for Little Sisters

Summer Fun
A stroll in the snow
Mommie and Daughter
Daddy and Daughter
Sophia and I call the dog Shelby. Sophia is Chris and Sarah's daughter.     


Thursday, March 13, 2014

What if?

I just read the book 'Heaven is for Real' by Todd Burpo. A little boy had surgery and claimed he went to heaven. He met his sister that his mother had lost through a miscarriage, and told his parents about her. They didn't even know what sex the baby was.  Anyway the story is very interesting and turns on your 'what if' button. It makes you think of your own family and friends that have passed on. Just this past summer we lost this precious family member, Bob.  He is my nephew. Both his parents have also passed away. He was an only child because his mother had miscarried and lost two or three babies before she was able carry this one full term. I have been thinking of him and wondering if he met his siblings, and  what a celebration that must have been. He left a lot of family behind. He had made a career of the Marines, and when he retired from the marines he went to school, and was working in the medical field when he came down with a rare form of cancer that he thought he may have picked it up while in desert Storm. A chemical dump had been blown up. He thought at the time he was far enough away not to be affected. He was 55 years old when he joined the other side.
Bob and his daughter, Thea

School days

His daughter's Lisa and Thea

Happier times

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Find Your Own Worms

We are not finished when we are born. It’s the parent’s duty to mold you into what you should be, not into what they think you should be. Unfortunately most only have the blueprint they were molded from.  Many of those blueprints need drastic alterations. Some are successful, but many more make a worse pattern than they were molded from.
They begin to grow and progress, and you feed and supply all their needs. 

Until one day they decide they can fly on their own, they hop out and flutter their wings.

 Some think, Oh no, this is more difficult than they expected , and fail miserable. They flutter back to the nest again and again.

Others hop out of the nest and are ready to fly. They have had good lessons and well prepared to find their own worms. 

One more quote.