Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Ed is Dead

 This is a true story. A grumpy lady was hired to answer the phone in a car repair business down in Union Gap. One of the mechanics named, Ed, passed away. From what, I do not know. He was very busy and had many people calling and asking for him. The grumpy old lady had few words for anyone so when someone would call and ask for Ed, she would answer, " Ed is dead" and hang up. Chris told me this true story. We were going to an afternoon dance for the tired retired folks and sit around a big table while waiting for someone to ask you to dance. One day a couple asked if they could sit at our table and said his name was Ed. Chris looked at me and I looked at Chris. Chris knew what I was thinking and I knew what Chris was thinking. We were mistaken, Ed wasn't dead. 

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Gripes and Groans

I was born to ramble so ramble I will. I fell on my butt and broke my ankle. I moan and groan and it doesn't help at all. I can't take pain pills because they just add itch to the pain.
Aspirin does about as much good as anything. The boot makes it hurt even more.
It is so painful to find something to eat so I am not eating much at all. I'm sure not cooking anything. It's mostly TV dinners.

I was so sure I had lost a few pounds so I looked in the mirror at my butt, and it's still there, fat as ever. I sit on it all the time and I get no exercise except moving my lips, but with no one here I don't even move my lips. Trips to the bathroom is about all I do.
Kenny and Chris are my errand runners. I don't know what I would do without them. They sit and keep me company sometimes.

Jim, Cora and their girls came one day and brought me Tulips.

I have a TV with Spectrum channels. I like the TLC channel, but they  have lots of repeats. Or if you've seen one, you've seen them all, type of show.  How many 600 pound people do you care to see? Or Hoarders . My least favorite is 'Say Yes to the Dress'. Who cares about the stupid dress. Somehow I just can't get enthused about wedding dresses.
The ankle has been broken for 19 days so all I have to do it tolerate it for another three weeks or so.

Me and My Cat

Miss Sassy LeMassy

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Food Foot and Fun

I'm waiting for the healing of my broken ankle. I'm waiting for warmer weather,  I'm waiting for payday. I'm waiting for thicker hair. I'm waiting for visitors.  I'm waiting for the cleaning services  to show up. I'm waiting for a winning lottery ticket to come my way. I never win even one dollar on those tickets, but my SIL and grand SIL bought one for me and it won 10 dollars.  
I am doing better on the foot. I was able to make a slice of bacon, hash browns and an egg and toast for breakfast plus a glass of OJ.
I have no plan for the dinner, but I have some frozen TV dinners and it will have to do.
I had a Marie Calendar Turkey pot pie one day and it was very good.
One day I put two pieces of chicken in the slow cooker with Barbeque sauce  and it was wonderful with a baked potato.
I just sit here and wait. I cannot get back into the crocheting activity. The desire to do it just eludes me. My hair is a disaster and I don't even care. I don't even care who runs for president. 

Shall we go dancing or skiing?

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Life in the Slow Lane

I lived to be 89 before I received a broken bone. I have a great grandson who is 27 and has had a few of them already, but I never skateboarded or some of the other antics he has tried. I think people with broken bones may have more fun. It just isn't fair. I was operating a vacuum cleaner when I felt a dizzy spell coming on and hit the floor before I could sit down. There was no fun about it. The ankle broke and I was on the floor with no phone. I made like a snail and very slowly made my way to a phone. I called my son because I was sure I would be fine if I could just get into a chair. He called 911 and those paramedics picked me up like I was a feather. Well, they probably wouldn't agree with that. We went to the hospital and it took 4 hours to run all the test and so on. 

Now I'm living with a huge boot on my foot. This happened on Saturday and Thursday I will see a specialist in the broken bone field. I guess the reason for the delay is because the swelling needs to go down before they do a cast or whatever they do. 
Now I sit here and try to remember what all I need to do in the kitchen because I only want to make one trip. 
The Ground Hog saw his shadow so that means 6 more weeks of Winter. The ground hog is not very reliable. It has been beautiful here with tempts in the 60's and no snow.
Not much news from someone that sits in a chair all day and most of the night. I guess that's why I'm messing with this blog. It's something to do. 

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Keep It On The Inside

Facebook reported they will be banning the use of profanity starting in April. People that continue to use it will be dropped from Facebook. I can't believe it will happen. There is so much fake news one doesn't know what to believe. 
Some people can't say or write anything without punctuating it with  profanity. Most people never use it while talking to the minister, but the sky is the limit while talking to a friend. It can be turned on or off. 
I said all that to say this. I challenge anyone to drop a cube of unwrapped butter on the kitchen floor without saying "Shit".
Keep it on the inside

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Old Age

Old age has arrived out of the blue. We don't have much choice in the matter. Every day we read about someone that is 100 or older. That isn't such a big honor. Everything slows down or quits working or hurts. When I was young I lived in the moment and was so busy I hardly ever thought  about the future and now I'm old I realize I don't have much future left even if I live to 100. I do believe we cross over into a new life. The bible says the soul never dies.  We'll wait and see.
January is here and is cold weather in my part of the country.
Today Chris and I sent to lunch at KFC and then we went to Shopko to shop  around a little for something to do. I suddenly lost every ounce of energy and had to find a place to sit. Chris found a place for me to sit and then I  dreaded making my way back to the car. I never see  people my age in those stores and I think it's because they are smarter than I am. 
I bought a new top while there. Chris Found it and said, "This looks like you". I loved it and it was my size so I bought it. It was drastically reduced in price too. So all wasn't wasted.
Well, this isn't much but it's all I know today.
Till next time.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

How Kids See Things

 This one from Facebook postings.

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know, “explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

2. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Troy, come in or stay out!'"

3. One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

4. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

5. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three-year-old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"

6. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

7. One day the first-grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

8. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday school, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

9. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

10. A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.
The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

Monday, January 1, 2018

Don't Lose Your Shoes

I have the strangest dreams. I dreamed I was visiting a cemetery and people started coming out of the graves. It was downright weird. One woman was looking down at what she was wearing and  was angry because her husband had buried her in such an ugly dress. Then she decided it wasn't that bad. 
Another dream was more like a nightmare. I lived in a much more elegant place than this one and it had a large patio as I opened the door I saw a very large black panther lying there just waiting for his noon meal to come a little closer. It didn't take me long to wake up from that. Most of my dreams I am driving a car and trying to find something and can't find it so I park the car and go into a large building and I look up and down the halls and in the different rooms. I never find what I am looking for and when I wake up I never remember what I'm looking for. I have dreamed that one several times. I'm always dreaming about shoes. I don't have a shoe fetish and never have, but in the dream I am trying to find my shoes and one time I dreamed I borrowed shoes from Judge Judy. Or someone took my shoes. Now I know what I'm looking for in the other dream. My shoes of course.
Today is a holiday day, but to me it's like a hollow day. kind of empty.  Nothing to do.